It's been five years now...

Five years from the pain and suffering...
Those five years ago where I lay shivering, two gunshots in my side, just missing my heart.
Those five years ago where I lay over a stone-dead body of my best friend,his warm blood spilling over my hands.
Those five years ago where I turned on his father.
Those five years ago where I lay with a blood soaking my shirt.
Those five years ago where I woke in the hospital with my side bandaged.

Those five years later where you can still see my scar.
Those five years later where you can still read the pain in my eyes.
Those five years later when I'm defferent from everybody else.

I have seen death in my own heart, my home.
I have seen men turn on eachother, ready to fight until the sudden death.
I have seen my scar, and what I have done to other people; what I have done to ruin there lives...
But, yes, I did it on purpose.
They all deserve it.
They all deserve to finally know what I have gone through.

Those five years later where I actually have friends to protect and help me.
Those five years later where I have somebody to protect.
To trust.
Those five years later where I have Chelsey, Kirstin, Natty by my side...
Those five years later where I have people to love me and be loved back.
Those five years later where I can have people around me that are just as different.

Those people care.
Those people have emotions.
Those people can love.
Those people can BE loved.

But not me anymore.
My blood still flows the way it did before.

Black.